Fluffy

I love going to the movies. There is just something about it that thrills me, everything from the sticky floors and scent of stale popcorn to the THX effects and previews. I love it, love it, love it. Even a bad movie seems good on the big screen [there are exceptions to this adage, which I will discuss later]. Probably 99% of the movies I have seen in a theatre were highly enjoyable, yet bored me to tears on the small screen. A good example of this phenomena is “Titantic”. For the record, I didn’t see it on purpose; rather, I got suckered in when a church group decided it would be their weekend activity. Though I spent most of the movie laughing at the women patrons who were crying (what, they didn’t know the boat sinks?), it was still an entertaining three hours of my time. But when it came on HBO, I found it to be a good cure for insomnia.

This is why people who buy DVDs by the cartload puzzle me. I own some DVDs, such as all seasons of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel”, plus a few movies that I really really like, such as “The Sound of Music” and “8MM”. Is spending $19.95 on a DVD a better investment than a $2.99 rental, especially if the movie sucks? Of course not. Anyway, I digress.

As with any movie, there are some golden rules.

#1 ““ No noisy children of any variety unless it is a “G” rated movie. No exceptions. If you use the “I can’t afford a sitter” excuse, then you have no business spending $8 for a movie ticket, or procreating for that matter.

#2 ““ If you have a BIG FAT head, don’t sit in front of me. You know who you are. Arrive early, find a seat that you like that also happens to not block anyone for a minimum of 5 rows behind you, and stay put. Do not plop right in front of someone like myself who is 5″4 and rather small.

#3 ““ Never discuss a movie in front of people within hearing distance without first asking if anyone has not seen the movie in discussion.

I saw two movies this weekend: “Star Wars Episode III ““ Revenge of the Sith” and “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”. Keeping in step with #3, if you have not seen either of these movies, please quit reading now to avoid any possible spoilers. As a courteous person, I do not wish to spoil your opinions or experiences of either of these films.

“Star Wars” is an excellent example of my love of movie theatres. While I must admit that I am not exactly a die-hard Luke/Han Solo/Leia fan, I figured that the “Star Wars” franchise is engrained so deeply in American pop culture that ordinary people like myself should see it on the big screen to fully appreciate it. And indeed, I was entertained beyond my expectations. The opening sequence of the scrolling marquee of words had my heart thumping in excitement, General Grievous’ 4-armed light saber fight had me cheering, and the first moment of breathing through that Darth Vader mask gave me chills. So yes, I liked the movie. But I then spent about 3 hours of my free time analyzing it. Those thoughts would keep me from enjoying this movie on TV, but on the big screen, I loved it.

However, there is that rare 1% when this does not happen. Consider “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”.

It sucked.

Yes, it did. It breezed over the funniest parts of the books (yes, I read the entire series years ago). For instance, Arthur quickly learns to take his towel everywhere but without explanation. We get a whole sequence of dancing dolphins thanking us for fish but only a shoddy breeze-thru of the “42″ answer. They go thru the whole missile-turns-into-surprised-whale bit but leave us hanging with the bowl of petunias that simply says “Not again”. Zaphod Beeblebrox appears to be a hyperactive, brain-damaged recovering crack addict. Arthur Dent came across as a lumpy bore who by comparison makes my toaster appear interesting (yes, he’s quite ordinary in the book but this depiction had no appeal whatsoever). Ford Prefect, now he was cool but barely utilized in the film. And Trillian was a rather minor character in the book but I guess they beefed up her role because they needed an attractive geek to make average men more likely to purchase a movie ticket.

And the restaurant is at the chronological end of the universe, not physical end!

So anyway, it was one of those movies in which I wanted my $3.50 bargain matinee fee and 2 hours of my life refunded, with interest.

The rest of my weekend was quiet and uneventful. We went on a volkmarch Sunday that meandered past many farm animals. Did anyone out there know that sheep like fruit snacks?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 19th, 2005 at 5:21 pm and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.