Fluffy

I suppose I will start off with a description of my recent trip to China. Here goes:Sunday - woke up way too early to take a long bus ride up to the Inchon airport. I was with my neighbor and 2 coworkers, all of whom were great company. There was a Korean preacher at the bus station, speaking in Hongul, but wearing a vest that said in English “Please don’t go to hell”. That is yet another thing I love about living in a foreign country. Sometimes things get a bit lost in translation but actually have more impact that way. Another example is the sign downtown that reads “In God We One”. I love that sign. But anyway, I digress.

The flight to Beijing was quick and easy and they actually served a meal, even though the flight was only an hour and 45 minutes. US Airways could learn a thing or two from China Air (I recently flew from LA to Atlanta on an empty stomach and US Airways didn’t offer so much as a little pack of peanuts, though they did sell horrid looking egg salad sandwiches, which I politely declined). Our tour guide met us at the airport and we had a fifth member in our group, a very nice Australian lady named Marie, who was sort of a world traveller. She’d been everywhere except for South America and Antarctica.

First stop was the Temple of Heaven. It was a beautiful day, despite the LA-esque pollution in the air. As we would soon learn, most architecture in China follows the same patterns: dragon (male) and phoenix (female) symbols in shades of green (earth/people), blue (Heaven), red (royalty, I think), and gold (I forgot what gold represents). The place was huge and we had a rather good time taking photographs at the “Center of the Universe”, according to the ancient Chinese emperors.

Afterwards, we hit the tea shop, where we sampled a variety of teas, including rose. It smelled lovely, but we had been warned not to buy anything at the government-run “friendship stores”, much to the chargrin of our tour guide. Then we had dinner: allow me to suffice it to say that it was the best Chinese food I have ever had in my life. No more will Manchu Wok and other such buffet places ever receive my patronage. Even Chinatown in San Fransisco is not quite the same. Last stop was the Chinese acrobat circus, where we saw a variety of folks contort themselves into all sorts of positions while balancing plates on their heads and riding bicyles, etc. Very cool. We were glad to arrive at the hotel though, as it was a very long day.

Monday - went to the jade factory, which was really boring. Then we hit the Great Wall. This was the highlight of the entire trip and made it worth every penny. It’s not a flat wall the way I remember seeing in history books. Instead, this particular section contained a series of steep stairs. I would venture to say around 1,500-2,000. There were many other tourists out there but I wanted to get away for a bit, so I dashed up the stairs, leaving my comrades behind (sorry). I suspect most people were either too tired, hot, or thirsty to finish the Wall so about 1/2 way up, it cleared out and there was absolutely no one up top. It was remarkable.

Next, we had lunch and then hit the boring cloisonne factory, which is a kind of pottery. Yes, I appreciate the fine arts, but not when we’re being dragged to their factories because we are tourists in a Communist country and that’s part of the bargain. The Ming Tombs were next but honestly, they were not interesting because just about everything is blocked off to the public, though we did certainly enjoy the ride. The silk store and carpet store followed, and we actually tried to leave early but our tour guide finally confessed that we had to spend a certain amount of time there. Yeah, she was not happy with us because she would have gotten a cut of whatever we purchased. We had dinner (again, delicious) and then saw a Chinese opera. It was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. They don’t sing, but rather squeak and pantomine their way through a folk legend. Or something to that effect. I was exhausted by this time and really don’t remember it very well.

Tuesday - rainy day. We saw Tianamen Square first thing and were bombarded by so many peddlers that we really didn’t see much of it. The Forbidden City is right across the street from it, complete with a gigantic portrait of “Chairman Mal” for all to see. There was a Starbucks in the Forbidden City, I kid you not. I don’t even drink coffee but I had an iced latte just for kicks. Capitalism is alive and well in the historic sites of a Communist nation, gotta love it. The Forbidden City looked much like the Temple of Heaven. My favorite part was the Concubine Garden, which had mostly phoenix artwork (go figure) and lots of trees. The mens’ quarters had no trees because they were considered bad luck. I can’t imagine being an emperor and not being able to feast my eyes upon nature, but I guess that is why they had so many concubines.

We had lunch and then went to the Summer Palace. Our guide told us a few bits here and there about its history but we could barely understand her. I think that most of the tax money went to building it, much like Louis XIV’s Versailles Palace. The view was lovely and the grounds are spread out over many acres, all protected by moats and lakes.

Now, we were finally on our own. We had our guide drop us off at the Silk Market. Holy cats, that was an experience. The peddlers are so aggressive that they actually grab you and try to pull you into their booths to have you make an offer on their wares. I bought some stunning butterfly silk scarves, a decent Burberry knock-off raincoat, a cashmere sweater, and a pashmina. The most fun was bargaining for the stuff. Anyway, we felt lucky to make it out of there alive and unscathed. It was fun for a while but I don’t want to have to shop that way all the time. It is much easier in Korea as their bargaining process is a little more straightforward.

Though the food had been delicious, we were tired of Chinese food and instead hit the Hard Rock Cafe for cheeseburgers. Every patron there was another Westerner, all who said they had the same reasons for going there as we did. Funny. We wanted to see Tianamen again at night and this was well worth it. It was very uncrowded and lit beautifully, thus making a very impressive appearance.

Wednesday - my neighbor and I were actually done but the flight wasn’t until Thursday night. We were able to leave that afternoon and left the guys to finish out the rest of the trip for us. We hit the Pearl Market, which was interesting but by this time we were a little tired of shopping. I bought a silk robe (with butterfly accents, of course) and a fake Rolex for $4, just for laughs. I’m amazed it’s still ticking as I write this.

All in all, great trip. I recommend China for the Great Wall especially and the food. Thailand and Vietnam are next on my list.

On a totally unrelated topic, this is for laughs:

My crappy little elf name is Juniper Merryweather.
What’s yours?Powered by Rum and Monkey.